Thoughts for the Day

Thoughts for the Day

Wedding planning!!!

Adal and Adel have been doing some serious wedding planning recently with the help of our co-ordinator, Mrs Wan-Foo. Adal, after being inspired by Mave+Noelle's wedding, decided to do some decorating for his wedding as well! Whether or not this is a good idea will depend on the results of the decoration. If he does well, it is a good idea and everyone will be happy. If it is a bad idea, Adel will tie him to the pillar in the school canteen and throw marshmellows at him until he gets concussion (which might take a while). Adal is quietly hoping for a marshmellow-less future.

Adal and Adel both firmly believe that things should be done asap (i.e. both a bit kanzhong spider), so they take a very hands-on approach to things. From Catering, Music, Rental to decorations, both Adal&Adel need to be in control of things.

This is led to some problems when both are unable to come to a common viewpoint, but they both understand and know that working out issues as a couple is what makes a couple a single entity - even as an individual, we have conflicts within ourselves. But we don't quarrel with ourselves nor get angry when we don't agree with ourselves (we externalise that anger and blame everything else).

Eventually we understand that getting angry doesn't solve anything - we can throw tantrums, throw expensive things around and scream and shout, but eventually the problem will still be there. By projecting that anger into our loved one, we lose the sense of oneness a couple shares, and instead of thinking of our partner as a part of us, we start to think of them as "him" or "her".

We've learnt to think like a collective individual - we feel this way, we think that way, and if we use the words "I" and "you", it's in the context of "I think this should be like that. What do you think?" By having a firm sense of "self", we maintain our own identities and at the same time, manage to be a single identity.

How do you see your partner? Do you think of your partner as a He/She? Or a We?